Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits. Then on the next page were what you label downfalls, or what the test said was the way people who don’t think exactly like me may see me: pushy, intimidating, overbearing, restless, impatient, manipulative, abrasive, reactive & dominating. It was hard too facing the fact that though I didn’t see myself that way, some others did.As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. I think it’s not that these smart, successful women are exactly those things either, but they are perceived that way by some – not all – of the men they come in contact with.I don’t know what is going on and why I’m lacking luck in finding Mr. I am educated, refined, and a self made millionaire by age 34. Many men, women, elderly, and children of all ages have told me so.People also told me that I am one of nicest and sweetest people they have ever met.The article points out what I’ve observed previously: the issue these days isn’t so much that the male schoolteacher is “intimidated” by the high-paid female advertising executive (there are some, but you don’t want them anyway), but rather that the high-paid ad exec refuses to date the schoolteacher. Isn’t the point of being independently wealthy so that you can do what you want, when you want?Doesn’t the value of being self-sufficient come in not having to worry about someone supporting you?
So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.” I wrote about this in an article for entitled “Are You Honest… ” Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask.“If I make 0,000, then he has to make AT LEAST 0,000.” I’ve never heard a man say the same thing.Face it: if you’re a woman who is in the top 10% of earners – and you INSIST that your man out earn you – you’ve now eliminated 90% of the dating population. Which is – in my estimation – one of the main reasons it’s easier for men to find love.And that’s before you’ve considered kindness, compatibility, attraction, values, height, weight, age, humor, children, etc. We’re not looking at you to support us because we can support ourselves, so we’re free to choose whomever we want.The question remains: if you can support yourself as well as any man can support himself, what DIFFERENCE does it make what he earns?It might mean, however, turning off some of the things that make you “successful” at work. I discovered what you’ve written through taking a self evaluation test.This is a bitter pill to swallow, perhaps even a double standard. I got these lists of great traits for myself: persuasive, risk taker, competitive, pursues change, confident, socially skilled, inspiring, open & direct.In the same vein, I’ve had men grow uncomfortable when they realize that I am a year or two older than they are.I’d think that at this stage of life (late 50s) a year or two (or 10) hardly matters.But if it also coincides with being difficult, dating might be a long, tough road for you. The trick to that is knowing how the man you’re with is perceiving you, and being able to tone down or turn off the traits he might find as reason to dump you for someone more agreeable.I used to think this was dumbing myself down, or playing to the masses, being fake, or not true to myself.