I'm going to ask the Moderators to move your thread across to our Real Parents Sex Clinic which is open until the end of the weekend. Easier to sleep in separate rooms apart from we're not happy about it. My husband and I weren't together long before we married, but he seemed to been keen on sex and general intimacy.
Chris, our psychosexual therapist will be working on there. Sex wasn't ever great and I thought being married we'd be able to work on it but now we just don't do it. Well I'm not and I'm sure he's not but he won't discuss the matter. We met and married in another country, then I moved back to UK before he did.
Do post again if you need to, this forum is so helpful.
and I know how terrible a situation this is to be in.x Hello Anon, You and your husband sound ideally suited - you have the same sense of humour, outlook on life, compassion, and drive.
You are certainly not alone with this issue - it is a very common factor which is posted about on Netmums. I think it must be a miracle we ever conceived our children! I find it too embarrassing a problem to be able to speak to friends about.The most ridiculous part of all this is that when we do have sex it is amazing.We have a great deal of chemistry and the sex was what drove us/kept us together in the first place.While i am not a nypho i do want sex every now and then, after all that what most normal couples who love each other do. I love him in every other way but i am only in my 40's (as is he) and i cant imagine never having sex again. Try and dig a little deeper and see if there is a root to this problem.I have spoken to him about the lack of sex and he says he just has a very low sex drive, he wont speak to a doctor about this. i think with me and my husband its the other way round... from what you said: it must just be me that he finds it hard to get intimate with as i am very over weight and not very attractive It sounds as though you have problems with your self esteem (what woman doesnt) perhaps he finds it hard that you find it hard rather than thinking these things about you himself?I really feel for you because I have lived with a pattern exactly like yours for 10 years since we've been together now.I have lost count of the times Id lie in bed feeling lonely.The question to ask yourself is do you want to be in this situation when it is just you and him alone and the kids have moved on?Is it better to find a true love while you are still young enough.I'm trying to contact Relate so we are forced to discuss it all but they all the councillers are full! I'd like to sort it out but he'd rather drink and watch football. Since then our sex life has been almost non-existant (I was pregnant when came back and our daughter almost 8 months when he came here permamently in 2008).We have had another daughter last Nov but only because we both wanted more children.