"My children's happiness and welfare superseded any lingering feelings I had for their father and economic worries."9. Splitting will certainly affect your income—especially if you or your spouse depends on each other financially.
"If you have a bonus-driven job, consider starting an action for divorce to set a cut-off date for finances," suggests Newman.
"If you're experiencing repeat problems in each relationship than it may be . " While some issues—like poor communication and needing more affection—are fixable, others—like violence or emotional abuse—aren't.6. If your relationship issues are fixable, try marital therapy while you're separated, says Rosenberg.
Relationship coach Kailen Rosenberg, founder of matchmaking service The Love Architects, suggests understanding your part in the demise of the marriage, not solely your partner's. "It can highlight what isn't working and guide you toward future love," she says.
Are your marriage problems isolated to this relationship?Now married 16 years ("and counting," she says), she and her husband were able to move past their issues.So if you're not 100% sure about divorce, then separate until you figure it out."It's hard to turn back once you start down the divorce road," says Newman.8. While a separation can give kids false hope of their parents reuniting or make the transition back to being a united family difficult, a trial period before divorce can convince you that splitting is best.Pamela Williams Kelly, a lawyer in Memphis, TN, who separated from her abusive husband when her children were young, didn't realize how much her strained marriage had affected her six-year-old son until her separation."Ask yourself: How could you have been healthier, more constructive and more mentally, spiritually and sexually aware and available? "If you don't get this down now, you'll experience similar issues in your next relationship."4. In some cases, a separation may be best if your morals or religion tell you divorce is a bad idea, says certified family law specialist Erin M. "With a legal separation, you divide up property, debts and assets, as well as deal with child custody, visitation and child and spousal support—the business end of a marriage—without dissolving the union," she says. She suggests asking yourself: "Is there verbal, physical or substance abuse? On the flip side, Kate, who divorced after a few separations, says that working with a pro might help you split without regret."My ex and I weren't ready to totally call it quits," she says.We are taking things day by day but regardless of what happens the girls will always be our #1 priority."Sugar Bear and I have decided to take some time apart to figure out some things in our relationship," the pair said in a statement.It goes more quickly and amicably when both parties are ready to divorce.2. If you aren't completely sure, consider separation, advises Cari Andreani from Jacksonville, FL.She separated from her husband after three years of marriage and is grateful she took the time to identify why she thought splitting was the best option before going through with it.