Thanks, Seth, 32, Dallas Dear Seth, The average age difference (for a heterosexual couple) is 2.3 years, with the man older than the woman.In 64 percent of heterosexual couples, the man is older.You can forgive yourself if you forget to open a door or pull out a chair for your date, Keogh says, but you should notice and learn from your mistakes. Pepper Schwartz, a psychologist writing for AARP magazine.You may have fallen into the habit of dressing in a slovenly manner, or gained a lot of weight in the course of your marriage or your grief.I ran into a similar problem when I wrote about the average height difference in couples. users who say they are in relationships, Facebook found that the average age difference in gay couples tends to get bigger the older people get.So I have to switch to a different data set if I want to include gay couples in my analysis (and I do! In this case, Facebook has some answers that might be of interest to you. Those in their early 20s have an average age difference in their relationships of about two to three years, but once people get into their 40s, that average age gap increases to about seven years.But using these averages, it’s hard to say how much of one.There could be lots of couples who, like you and your partner, are increasing the average age difference but are still in the minority.
It’s ok for you to share something about your late spouse as long as you can change the subject and show an interest in the person you’re dating now.Abel Keogh, author of several books on dating after the death of a spouse, wrote in “Dating a Widower” that the right timeframe for one person might be several weeks, while for another it could be several months or years.Other people might have their own ideas about how long you should grieve before dating, but since grief is an individual process, you’re the only one who really knows when you’re ready.She is also a writing instructor, editor and former elementary school teacher.She has a Master's degree in writing and a Bachelor of Arts in English and anthropology.The age difference increases for older male-female couples, too (shown in red below), though not by as much.(Remember, this is self-reported data from people who make their relationship status public on Facebook.) Your relationship probably is an outlier, Seth.After having been married, possibly for many years, and going through the trauma and grief that comes with the death of a spouse, widows and widowers may find dating daunting. There are many right answers to these questions, and it all comes down to what makes the widow or widower comfortable. Should one date exclusively or date several people at the same time, and should it be casual or serious?Those surveyed couples are supposed to represent the estimated 70 million heterosexual couples who live together in the U. It doesn’t matter whether they’re married or unmarried, parents or childless — all couples are counted in the CPS, unless they’re gay.So, I’m sorry, Seth, but these numbers just don’t properly represent you.