Some relationship experts counsel never dating while separated but not divorced.
While it’s true that you do need to be extra mindful of your needs and motivations, dating while separated isn’t impossible.
On one hand, it’s natural to want to find companionship and move on from your marriage.
On the other hand, you’re still legally married and some ties are still there.
Until you’ve come to terms with who you are as a single, previously married person, you just don’t have the emotional availability to start something new. As Jackie Pilossoph (creator of the blog) told the Huffington Post, there are all sorts of distractions you can try.
If you genuinely like someone, that’s a great reason to date them.
But if you’re just looking for a way to feel less lonely, it’s a sign that you’re not done with the healing process yet. But finding that out early on is the only fair thing to both of you.
If you’re ready to move on and you decide to say yes to a date, be honest with your potential partner from the very start. You don’t have to tell them every detail of your marriage breakdown, but do let them know that the divorce is in process (if it’s not you might want to rethink dating until it is), and be clear that reconciliation with your ex is not something you want.
But, if you are dating someone so that you don’t have to be alone, or because you want a replacement for your ex, it’s not particularly fair to them – or you.
Not only does it take advantage of their feelings, it can set you back on your road to healing from the separation.