Nevertheless the healthy mate wonders, ”Why are we on these constant roller coaster rides?
” Sooner rather than later he starts to resent walking on eggshells around his lover.
Jodi Arias – in my opinion, – a good example of a woman with quiet BPD (she functions superficially well but her chameleon-like façade breaks open once her relational views are challenged) murdered her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander; Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction attempted to murder her former lover but failed and found her own death.
Most real-life relationships with a partner who has BPD are not deadly.
Her heightened sense of emotions and difficulty to soothe herself leads to major drama even when a partner is willing to stay and work with her to overcome the challenges.
Many individuals with BPD have a history of brief and intensive relationships that ended prematurely and badly. Quite often the healthy partner leaves (or runs); he can’t deal with the emotional outbursts and relational roller coaster.
The film Fatal Attraction (quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close) and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.
She will relentlessly reach out and obsessively try to reestablish the broken bond if the healthy mate decides to break up with her.It’s overboard across the map: When it’s good it’s great – but when it’s bad it’s really bad.There is no middle ground when standing at the borderline.Having BPD doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be in a loving and committed relationship.You can have that relationship it will just take a lot of work and commitment on your part by recognising triggers and putting yourself in other people’s shoes.The repertoire generally includes parasuicidal gestures – none life-threatening surface wrist, ankle and upper thigh cutting – or suicide threats that scare a person who never dealt with somebody who is unable to regulate her emotions. How can I fix it.” Well the answer is easy, “You can’t fix it!These behaviors are sometimes perceived as manipulative: To get attention and one’s needs met – “I need you here; you can’t leave; I show you why.” Scared and emotionally drained partners generally seek advice on how to get out; others are still confused about their partner’s behavior. ” When the partner with BPD travels the roller-coaster of emotions (it’s a habit and due to the lack of coping skills not because it feels good) the healthier partner feels overwhelmed and describes his situation as being “stuck between a rock and a hard place;” feeling bad and responsible hence unable to leave her, he states his partner gets “incredibly angry and sometimes physically and verbally abusive.” What follows is a pattern of submissive, self-loathing behaviors.The individual with BPD does not have an inner center; she does not know who she is.She tries to gauge her self-image at any given situation by interpreting the expressions of others (kind of the blind leading the blind giving her over-sensibility). Hopefully, this evokes some compassion – imagine how scary when you are just drifting at the mercy of what you believe others may do or think.Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered.Notoriously famous personality disorders discussed in films, courts, and domestic disputes are all part of the dramatic-erratic cluster: The Narcissist, The Antisocial, The Individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or a combination of two: Antisocial Narcissistic and/or Borderline Narcissistic.